MikeSpeaksOut!

My Christmas Gift -- TO MYSELF

A little more than a year ago, you may remember me posting about organizing a "Biggest Loser" competition at my school.  The program, for the most part, was widely successful.  We had 16 teams of teachers -- mine came in second place...we would have been first had a certain teacher done his job and gotten with the program....but I'm not bitter.

I decided several months ago to look into going back to the gym and getting serious about my body.  No, don't laugh.  I went from 212 lbs to somewhere around 180(ish).  I'm still not in the shape that I want.  Yes, I can do cardio like a b#tch...and I have gotten really good at dropping weight.  But...alas, I need to step up to the plate and go that extra yard.

I usually start with changing my diet...then it's exercise...then it's weights.  This time, I am going to kick-start the whole thing.  NO THIS IS NOT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION.  Technically, I am going to the gym TODAY to meet with the personal trainers.  So, it's a New Year's Eve Eve resolution.  I am taking some of the money I earn on my 2nd (or is it 3rd) job and hiring a personal trainer.....Oh my..that is soooo Hollywood.

I know I can do this.  I have been successful before.  Besides, I have lined up a few friends -- both have been successful at getting into shape.  One, my newer friend Matt, has promised to help.  But..he said "Michael, if you don't get started over (Christmas) break, you're not serious.  So...while he is in New York with his family...I'm doing my part.

Now...I have cut myself some slack for New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  My family is getting together to celebrate Christmas (since everyone was out of town except my loser brother).

Wish me luck.

I'm a LOSER Baby....So Please Don't Hate Me!

I will be the first to admit that I have battled my entire life with self image issues....both internal and external.  I have never seem myself in the way that others see me.  Perhaps I am the MOST critical evaluator of myself.

February 2 my colleagues and I started a "Biggest Loser Contest".  Today was the FINAL weigh-in.  I have to admit that depression has gotten the best of me for the past few weeks.....Nonetheless, I finished today.

I finished 25 1/2 pounds lighter than I started.  While it is not my "ultimate goal", I am the second biggest "total pounds lost" loser at my school.....the lady I am up against started out much heavier than I am I wishes to lose 50 more lbs....Me, 10 to 15 more lbs. would be good.  I am very proud of her 49 1/2 pounds lost!

I am proud of myself ------ but not completely satisfied.  Everything with time.

I'm Legal! But my love life still sucks!

If my fat were human, It'd be legal....okay, that's a stretch....

As of Wednesday, I lost 18 1/2 pounds....I have NO IDEA how I lost weight this week! Between the FCAT (Florida's version of standardized testing meant to make students have breakdowns and teachers lose their mind).

Okay, I was sort of seeing someone....but there was no "fiya" (fire)....so....I had to issue the cut...actually, I stopped emailing and calling. Does that make me horrible? Plus, he didnt' want to work out and get into shape. God I feel so vane.

Dude.....Sweeeeeet!

An MTV show, A winning bracket that you want your basketball team to be in, a movie by the Olsen twins OR the number of pounds you've lost......I'LL GO WITH "D" ALEX....

Actually, I'm down 16 1/2 pounds..but let's not squabble!

This week has been stressful. The "big test" (FCAT) comes next week. Our state has decided that next year it would be a great idea to tie teacher salaries to how well our students do on the test -- which really sucks when you are a special education teacher who's students don't taek the test (me) which means you get screwed (no money)....so people have been "teaching to the test" for the past two months -- no really....we started "T-8 (weeks)"...and no other lessons happen...so much for a classic education.

Then....we have the whole "uniform debate". It seems that they want to switch my school to uniforms next year. The whole faculty has lost their god forsaken mind...well, some of us. I could care less. Put me in khaki pants and polos all year! It makes getting dressed in the morning easier. The "hoochie mama" teacher is upset because she can't wear her "stylish duds" to school...and God forbid you should not be able to wear open-toed shoes to work.

ME...I DON'T CARE......CALL ME GREEN DAY! I'M A LOSER BABY!!!! THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT.....SCREW THE UNIFORMS, THE BELL SCHEDULE CHANGE, THE FCAT, ETC. ETC.

I have been studying for my doctoral comps -- wlll update you on that soon!

Keep on Keepin' ON!

Positive thoughts....Positive Talk....surrounding yourself with friends......sometimes it works.....sometimes it doesn't.

This has been a very stressful week. I haven't been working out as much as usual. I did, however, get back to the gym. I have just been soooooo tired as of late. I'm still losing weight -- and my team is doing okay. It's hard making meals, getting yourself up in the AM...etc. etc.

I have someone who is trying to date me...I just don't feel the "fire". Hmmm...I'm so bad at giving people the "cut"! I can't wait until April 7...I hope to be able to see my friend Jason in HotLanta.....QUACK QUACK! (inside joke). I need a vacation!

The Phoenix is Rising!

It's now the third week of our "Biggest Loser" contest. Team Phoenix (my team) is currently in the lead out of 16 teams! I am down 10 pounds.....while I am not happy with this past week (post-Super Bowl, cold weather not exercising, etc.).....BUT....I hope to rely on my team to inspire me to lose more.

This thing is very hard. In a GAY World, we are judged by our weight, outward beauty, and personality....My friends say, "Well, that's just stupid"....I say....Hey, unless you're in it, you don't understand.

I hope this cold weather clears....it's totally screwing with my morning workouts!

Inspiration!

Let's be honest, everyone needs a little inspiration! I found this little pic to serve as a guide -- I may not be there June 1..but I will be closer than I am now!

I've been doing really good with watching what I am eating....working out twice daily (usually 40-50 minutes of carbs each day)....I even got the local newspaper to come to my school for an article/photo-op. I'll post the link when the article gets published.

It's great to have a team -- we really keep each other going. I even chat with other teams. I think that some of us may go walk down the beach / intracoastal tomorrow. Tomorrow is my mom's 60th birthday -- and we're having lasagna! I have a plan, though...Nothing will stop me from being the biggest loser!

FOUR!

Okay...I'm not a really good golfer -- I am, however, good at drinking on the course and driving the cart (that's usually what I do in the faculty/staff golf tournament)....anyways, I digress.

I went for my first weigh-in today. I am proud to report that I have lost four pounds. Now, I know that some of you are saying, "But it's mostly water lost"...I say, "F#ck you! I'm a machine...I'm losing weight and building muscle!"

I've worked out 6 of 7 days (had a bum knee). I've been loyal to my diet. Okay...I've been about as loyal to my diet as Whitney Houston has been to the crack pipe -- and that's loyal.

I send out a press release last week. The local newspaper should be writing an article. I'm forwarding my press release to NBC...I'm going BIG TIME, baby.

One of our teachers lost 8 pounds this week! I was so proud of him!

I'll post pictures as soon as I find them.

En Fuego!

When it comes to body image -- and confidence in that area -- I have never been the best. Even when I last lost weight (and I was very happy with that) I was always worrying about getting better....Then, two hurricanes and depression hit. Basically all was lost -- or, should I say gained.

Yesterday, after the 5K Walk I went to the gym......today I went back...While I didn't walk for 50 minutes, I did manage 40. It is now a game. I now remember how hard it is to go into a restaurant and order food....but, nonetheless, I HATE LOSING, I HATE LOSING, I HATE LOSING.....Well, actually, in this case, I love losing.

Several have asked for photos....I'll try to find them. I've been very reluctant to put them out there.....but I am in this for the gold...and your encouragement will help push me through!

To my friends in Orlando and Tampa.....let's get together at Gay Days -- you can see the NEW ME!

Ready, Set, Go

As I mentioned in a previous post, my school (under my direction) has established a "Biggest Loser" contest. We started the whole ordeal this week. Tuesday was "weigh in" day for me. Now ... I HAVE A STRATEGY....so, I ate the week before weigh-in...I ate everything. You see, I figured, the higher I started, the more I would have to lose (just work with me). I weighed in at 206...FUCKING 206! Now, I am between 6'1" and 6'2"...I am putting this out there because I want to share with the world how much progress I am going to make. I must admit, I was a little embarassed.

You see, a litle more than 1 1/2 year ago, I was in size 31 ish pants -- wearing small shirts...etc. Then, a little thing called hurricane season and depression took over. It was awful.

Now. I will be down to 160...actually, I like 155 better by May 31. TRUST ME!

Today I did Race for the Cure (for the fight against breast cancer) and went to the gym for a spin class. I've changed my diet, worked out every day, and I am working with a friend who is a trainer. My goal is that by May 31 I will be so HOT I will want to f#ck myself! By PrideFest...I will be well on my way to my goal....

I am going to the Banana Republic tomorrow to purchase my outfit...you know, the one I am going to wear at the end-of-the-year banquet the first week in June....OH WAIT...that's the same weekend as Gay Days at Disney.........WOO HOO.....

Now...if you want to see my goal....look at this pic....Now, a colleague told me "But Michael, why are you buying into this crap!"....I stated, "Because society expects a certain image....and Gay Society is worse".....I am not getting any younger...but I will be looking better!

Wish me luck